Dear Owner of Sandwich Shop Which Shall Remain Nameless,

This gave me the gnarliest bout of food poisoning of my life. I shall never return to your wretched shop that, while delicious, caused me fever dreams the like I have never had before, involving firebomb creatures and the French Foreign Legion. Take better care of your roast beef, you careless bastard.

Cheers and Excruciating Stomach Pains,

Dan Foley